Goodbye 2008!

Today has been a day that I have been longing for. I don't know why, but for some reason in my head I have 2009 as the end to all of the not so great things that have happened in our lives in 2008. I know realistically that 2009 will bring some challenges, but I can't imagine any year of my life being as hard as the year that is hours away from ending.

2008 had many challenges for me and my family. In May I lost my mom. I can't ever imagine having pain like this again. Although the memory of her is in all of our hearts the mourning seems like it gets more difficult before it will be able to get better. Every time I look at my girls I see her and that is an amazing blessing that I have. I am sure my grandmother and aunts and uncles feel the same when they look at me. I struggle when Dylanne does something amazing or K'la goofy as I immediately want to pick up the phone and call her. I lost my best friend this year and that is a hole that I still struggled to mend.

Just when we thought it couldn't get worse my Goddaughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor. At this point I was numb and unable to offer much support to her or her family. Ally proved to be my strength though and showed me a great deal about survival! Ally is now cancer free and just a "normal" kid again.

Then the rain began and we were dealing with the floods of 2008. Luckily since we live in Urbana, we were blessed to not have our homes affected by the flood. However, both of our works were affected. Mine was affected for 2 weeks and Mike continues to be in an alternate location. I worked emergency childcare in those weeks for flood victims and Mike got a little vacation for a month. Not very fun though when you aren't getting paid.

What else could really happen to our family? Well, finally we had a diagnosis for Micheala and her sleep apnea. This was such a relief and such a nightmare at the same time. It proved that I wasn't crazy and the apnea was really occurring again, but it also came with brain surgery. Mike and I again were like zombies and just went through the motions of everyday life. I pissed everyone off at the Hospital, but in the end it paid off. Micheala had her surgery on August 4th (our 7 year anniversary). The hardest part of that day actually proved to be the ride to the hospital while Micheala begged us to stop and get her something to eat. She was a champ! Out of surgery early and out of ICU in less than 24 hours! She had the nurses and doctor's earning their pay while she was in there as she wouldn't sit still and insisted on moving her bed up and down or jumping on her bed. All of this from a 3 year old that just had brain surgery. She is continues to do well. As I tell most people, she is earning time outs again so that's a good sign.

Finally, our lives could move on, right? Not so fast. At the end of October, we found out that my cancer had made an unwelcome return and that I was to do treatment again. Ugh, will it ever end?

Well, I do have to say that it has. I am done with treatment and it is all behind me (let's pray).

So after reading the above I hope you understand why 2009 can't begin to get here fast enough.

I didn't write this to get sympathy, it was simply something I needed to do for myself as closure and I thought I'd share my thoughts. 2008 wasn't all bad. I was able to spend time with family and friends. Mike and I made friends with some neighbors and they are wonderful and we treasure their friendship. Strange enough, my mother's passing brought some blessing too. I now have a relationship with my mother-in-law that is beyond anything I could have dreamed. She proved to be my rock many times when I wasn't sure what to do with myself. She may not even know how much she helps me with dealing with my mom's passing, but she does, even today. I am blessed to be a part of a wonderful family. I also found out that I am going to be an aunt in 2009. I know this is an exciting time for anyone, but being an only child this is something I have waited a very long time for! I am so excited to spoil him rotten! I also have to be thankful for the friends and family that are healthy and in my life. I am still able to be close to my grandmother and I think she is my soul mate. My mother was always my best friend, but my grandmother has always been my soul mate. We are two peas in a pod and growing up in a house with her, my grandfather and my mother to all raise has been the biggest blessing of my childhood. I couldn't have asked for anything better and the fact that I still get to visit her and drive her crazy is something I truly cherish.

I know that I am rambling now and probably not making much sense, but I just wanted to write this all down for my future reference. Tonight, we will be ringing in the new year with great friends. I had thought that going to the bar was what I wanted to do, but things often don't work out for a reason and staying in with my husband, beautiful daughters and great friends is just what I need and I couldn't have asked for anything more special.

I wish everyone a very blessed, happy and healthy 2009. May no one ever go through a year like I did in 2008 and may you all keep your family and friends close to your heart!